


The Probability of Failure: The Mother

by B_Radley



Series: Diana's Journeys [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Quote: The Force works in mysterious ways, Redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 13:42:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9551498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Radley/pseuds/B_Radley
Summary: A huntress and Knight struggles to find peace in the wake of devastating loss. Several beings attempt to help her.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [To Learn That Lesson](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8431225) by [Merfilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly). 



> This is an ongoing series about Shaak Ti, taking place mostly between the Phantom Menace and the Clone Wars, showing her journey as she heals from the loss of two Padawans. It is a part of the universe I have imagined, with in the current canon. It borrows from Legends, but changes some things within it for my purposes. They are mostly standalones, but do have some interconnectedness. The series will be updated intermittently.
> 
> I have borrowed, with permission,the name and description of her first Padawan, as well as Fe Sun's life from Merfilly and her excellent story. _To Learn That Lesson._
> 
> As always, enjoy and thank you for reading.

**Shili  
** **The Plains of Shandai  
** **Year 4 (One year after the Invasion Crisis on Naboo)**

Shaak Ti's eyes slowly open as she senses the beast growing closer. Her knife rests in front of her bent knees. The weapon of her other culture is in her pack, safe at the clanstead.

Her montrals can hear the movement and snuffling of the beast as it draws closer. The beast can smell the blood on her from the cut on her left forearm.

The cut that she had made with her own knife.

She can feel her heart rate begin to increase as the _Akul_ pads closer. She sends a silent message to the young female. As she searches for the connection to the predator, a tiny part of her brain registers the stupidity of drawing blood to bring the apex predator of this world in for a conversation.

All while clad only in a thin hunting skirt.

The rest of her brain concentrates on the connection with the beast. A gentle smile flows over her otherwise calm features as she feels a spark in her mind's eye.

The spark of connection. She closes her eyes to concentrate on the spark. To fan the embers of the tenuous connection.

The embers grow as she feels the beast pad within a half meter of her and sit.

She opens her eyes and looks into the eyes of the predator. 

Ti senses the beginnings of answers to every question in the universe as she sees the beast staring at her. As she sees herself through the beast's eyes.

 _Hello young mother,_ she thinks.

After a moment, she feels the female's response. _Hello, huntress. Not quite a mother, yet.  
_

Ti smiles. _Neither am I._

_You bear the teeth of one of my brothers._

_Yes, I do. As you probably have the taste of the blood of my sisters and brothers in your mouth._

_True enough. Why are you here huntress?_

_I seek peace. Peace through understanding of you._

_What peace do you seek, proud huntress? The peace of your body returning to the earth? I would oblige you. To feed upon a huntress such as you would give me great power._

_Or indigestion._

The predator's laughter reverberates through Ti's head.

_Well said, huntress. Well said, indeed._

_A good question. Maybe, for a brief time a few months ago, I might've. But now, I merely seek a quiet mind. A mind that does not cry out to me with my dead._

_Ahh! You seek to mourn. To forget._

_Never! Never to forget._

Ti pauses. She thinks about Atti, and now Fe Sun. All of her hopes in two very different young Jedi. Taken before their time. 

Taken by violence, before they could fulfill their promise.

 _I see the thoughts of those you have lost, huntress. I see that you still hurt and mourn them._ The beast pauses. _I see that you taught them well, as a hunter and huntress. To respect us and to respect your own traditions._

 _I did my best. I taught them all that I know._ Her eyes tear. _Perhaps my training wasn't strong enough._

_Why would you say that, huntress? You, who are on your way to being an Elder of your traditions. At such a young age._

_Well, my record speaks for itself._

The beast's thoughts are silent for a moment. _Mother?_ she thinks, in spite of the beast's denial. _I was just thinking that I would go ahead and eat you, huntress. I am just wondering if all the self-pity would add to your flavor._

Ti's gesture is not one that the beast is familiar with. The Jedi looks down. _Perhaps, I deserved that, Mother._

_You should know something, huntress. I haven't experienced this first hand, but generally our kind loses the first two or three of our young as a first time mother. There is no hard and fast rule. We hope that it doesn't happen, but, if it does, we mourn to ourselves, then we live after it does. We try again._

Ti is silent with her thoughts. _It is a bit different, Mother. I don't bear these apprentices. They are not even of my own species. I do chose them._

 _Do you nurture them? Do you teach them your ways, both of the wizards and of the Hunt? Do you cuff them when they fail, and preen them when they succeed beyond your wildest expectations?_ Ti is silent in her thoughts once again. When she speaks in her mind again, the beast can see the conflict. _In the ways of the wizards, Mother, there is a bond. But we are taught to let them go when they are grown. There are rules that preclude excess attachment.  
_

_Excess attachment doesn't seem to bother you when you are being mounted every night by that hunter from the den of your kind near the low hills,_ the beast thinks drily.

Ti rolls her eyes, but grins sheepishly. _That is not what I mean, Mother,_ she thinks in an exasperated tone. _I am not truly attached to him. We took oaths as hunt-brother and sister; we merely join occasionally._

The beast proves her mischievous nature when she doesn't let her explanation stand. _You certainly were attached in one place for quite a while._

Ti decides to change the subject. _I think that I must go, Mother. I sense others coming towards us._ Her mind smiles. _Mother, I have enjoyed our thoughts. I would like to continue them, however I have a feeling that I will be leaving our world._

She can feel satisfaction. Maybe even a little bit of joy through the link. _I, too, have found enjoyment, huntress. I would hate to have to eat you in the future._

Ti smiles. Her violet eyes tear slightly. _And I would hate having to take your teeth, Mother._

 _I will try to keep to myself, huntress. See that your hunters do, as well._ The beast moves closer to the Jedi. She tenses, but feels no threat. The beast puts its enormous head in her lap.

A rough, wet tongue swipes at the bleeding wound.

A wound that seems to choose that moment to clot. _There. I have your taste. I will know, at least._

Ti gently scratches the beast behind its ears. She sits there and quivers at the Jedi's touch. The ears prick up. With a last head butt to the Jedi's chest, the Mother turns and lopes away. 

Ti is more calmed than she has been in the months since Fe Sun's death. She sits with a slight smile on her face, as her visitors walk up to her. The smile turns rueful as she identifies the Force signature of one of the visitors. A young signature, but one growing as a Master of a non-traditional Padawan.

Other parts identify her hunt-brother as one who walks up to her.

~+~+~+~+~+

The robed figure, walking in a hood on an unfamiliar world, turns to his guide. "So tell, me, is it normal to cut yourself, draw blood, and then let a humongous beast come sit next to you, within a foot of your head?"

"It is if you have horns, Jedi," comes the laconic reply. 

The Jedi shakes his head. "Wonderful." He turns to the hunter. "Thank you, Makyo Ry," he says formally. "I will approach Ti. She already senses me."

The hunter shakes the Jedi's hand, but gently seizes his forearm. "Are you taking her away from us, Jedi?"

The young Jedi gives a brief shake of his head. "That is up to her. I am merely offering her a choice, so that she can live again. So that she can come back to the Order." 

The hunter releases his arm. He nods. "I am trying to do the same thing, only here, among her people. With her hunt-brothers and sisters."

The Jedi digests this, then slightly bows to the hunter. The hunter watches the Jedi walk down to his hunt-sister. He smiles sadly. _Live, Shaak. Live. Either here, or there, but live for yourself. Your dead will rest more if you do._

~+~+~+~+~+

Ti continues to sit with her eyes closed as the Jedi walks up. She waits to acknowledge the figure, until he is just upon her. "Hello, Obi-wan. Good of you to make this trip to see me. I am afraid that my answer to the Council still stands. I am not ready to come back to the Temple."

"Not here from the Council, Shaak. I represent fellow Masters and Knights who care about what happens to you. We want you to come back. The Council will ask you back because they want to check the 'healed' box. We want you back among the Order because of who you are. In spite of the lack of confidence I feel rolling off you."

Ti smiles. "I think you are mistaken, young knight. I do not lack confidence. I lack purpose at this particular moment in time. You can tell the Council, that if they have a mission for me, I will come back to the Temple. If not, if they just want me to meditate on the losses to the Order, then I will rest among my people."

She rises. Obi-wan's blue eyes widen at her attire. _Or lack thereof_. Ti smirks at his discomfiture. "We have very little fear of our bodies on Shili, young one. I would take your robe, if you are too afraid," she says challengingly.

 _That does it,_ he thinks. He looks at her squarely. He does not flinch from her lack of clothing. "I am not the one hiding on Shili after my losses. I am not the one refusing the Council's summons. I am certainly not the one who will not try to meet the Council halfway."

Her violet eyes flash. "You don't know what you are talking about, Kenobi. I will heal in my own way. I do not need the Council's mind healers and gentle platitudes, right now."

"Maybe you do. If they saw you sitting there communing with a large beast with a self-inflicted knife wound, they might force you to take the mind-healers."

Ti stops as she realizes what her 'meditation' might look like to an outsider. She looks down. "I do not have a death wish, Obi-wan. That was merely a way to touch the Force in a different way. To connect with a fellow hunter."

"Really, Knight Ti? What if the beast had attacked?" he asks forcefully.

She stops. "I guess we would've found out who was the more powerful," she says simply.

Obi-wan sobers at the matter-of-fact tone in her lightly accented voice. Without another word, she pushes past him towards the direction of the clanstead.

He closes his eyes. _I am sorry, Master Plo. I tried._

After a moment, he raises his hood and follows her.

**Author's Note:**

> The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
> 
> Abraham Lincoln


End file.
